wayner

Just got back from Aunt Sandra’s funeral in St. John’s.

She finally passed away at 12:30AM July 2^ed.  We got the call from Mom early Wednesday morning and were on a flight home that afternoon.

Ralph, Sandra Lawson

RALPH – Passed peacefully away on July 02, 2008 at the Miller Centre following a courageous battle with cancer. Sandra Lawson Ralph in her 58th year. Predeceased by parents, Arthur and Violet Ebsary and parents-in-law, Nathan and Edna Ralph. Leaving to mourn her loving and devoted family: husband: Wayne; son: Christopher. Also leaving special family members sister: Marilyn Maxner (Al); brother-in-law: Roy Ralph (Marie); aunt: Olive Mercer; also brother David Ebsary; sisters: Carolyn O’Donnell, Rosalind Ebsary and Lynn Ebsary; nephews: Wayne (Anita), Adam, Ryan and Simon; nieces: Catherine and Diana; treasured friends: Bengina March, Angela James, Mary Corcoran and the Quinlan Family; also a large circle of relatives and friends especially those at Middle Gull Pond. The family will receive visitors at Carnell’s Funeral Home, 329 Freshwater Road on Wednesday from 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. and Thursday from 2:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. and 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. Funeral Service to be held on Friday July 4, 2008 at 11:00 a.m. from St. Mark’s Anglican Church, Logy Bay Road. Inurnment to follow at the Anglican Cemetery, Kenmount Road. Flowers gratefully accepted or donations in Sandra’s memory may be made to Daffidol Place. To send a message of condolence or to sign the memorial guest book please visit www.carnells.com.

Aunt Sandra’s wishes were to be cremated immediately before the wake, which was a first for me.  Living in Ottawa for the past ~8 years or so my interactions with my family have been limited.  So to be told that she finally passed away, for me, was only a data point.  It wasn’t real.  Like, really, real.  I understood it on a intellectual level, but I couldn’t actually feel it.  Nothing had actually changed.  It was, in some ways, like telling me that it was raining in St. John’s – that maybe so, but I wasn’t at risk of getting wet.

Did that make any sense?  Probably not.

In the end, not having a coffin only exaggerated this.  It was easy to forget exactly why I was there.  Aunt Sandra could have entered the room at any moment as far as I was concerned.   But I guess that’s what a funeral is for.  To drive the point home, good and hard.

St. Mark’s was packed.  I didn’t get a good look, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was standing room only at the back.  Even at the grave site there was at least 50 people, maybe more.  She touched a lot of people.

I can’t believe how composed Chris was carrying the ashes into the church and at the inurnment.  I would have been a complete mess.  But I’m bad like that.